today, our most precious arlee died. i feel a little as though this really isn't happening. i grieve for her family. and i worry about my mother. arlee was her closest, dearest friend. the truth of the matter is:
we all loved arlee. she was one of my favorite people, because whenever i saw her, she emitted a joyful spirit and always had something nice to say. she's one of those people who made you feel good all the time, because she tried to see the positive in everything. every time i saw arlee, she made me feel as though i was doing something beautiful or profound or important with my life. when i told her how i felt about taiwan and the peace corps... that it all had to do with this idea that has been in the back of my head... this concept of praying without ceasing. this idea that i make more of a difference if i do rather than if i simply be an activist for all the causes in which i believe... she told me that it sounded right to her... it wasn't crazy... and that i should definitely, definitely, definitely stick by it. none of my romantic ideals or abstract agendas or uncertainties or holistic approaches to faith ever seemed absurd when arlee was around... she always made me feel like i was going to do something significant for the kingdom of God. she believed in following the Lord sincerely and whole-heartedly, without pretension or expectation, as best you can and with your entire being. most importantly, she made my mum feel like herself. every day with arlee made my mother see the beauty and glory of God's creation... that we could extract joy from even the simplest elements of God's grandeur. any day that my mum was with arlee was a precious day, and each interaction made her a more complete human, a lover of all that God had made her. in every way, arlee coaxed kindness and beauty from the world around her.
today, even before i found out, while i stood watch for chris' crazy neighbor while he packed his clothes, i felt compelled to read psalm 91. for some reason, these were words i felt i needed to experience today.
He who dwells in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress; Mmy God, in Him I will trust." Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the perilous pestilence. He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler. You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, nor of the arrow that flies by day, nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday. A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand; but it shall not come near you. Only with your eyes shall you look, and see the reward of the wicked. Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place, no evil shall befall you, nor shall any plague come near your dwelling; for He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways. In their hands they shall bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone. You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra, the young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot. Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high because he has known My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and humor him. With long life I will satisfy him, and show him My salvation.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Sunday, July 08, 2007
movement
"God works in mysterious ways."
or so the saying goes.
today was an odd day. a day when i had the distinct feeling that i was exactly where God wanted me. one of those days when nothing really went my way, but for one reason or another, i had the fortitude to keep trying. what i want, i'm not sure. what i'm meant for, i scarcely know. could today have been a preview?
or so the saying goes.
today was an odd day. a day when i had the distinct feeling that i was exactly where God wanted me. one of those days when nothing really went my way, but for one reason or another, i had the fortitude to keep trying. what i want, i'm not sure. what i'm meant for, i scarcely know. could today have been a preview?
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
i suppose my heart rings true for you, red, white and blue
"home is where the heart is."
or so the saying goes.
in one week, i've lost all concept of time. i honestly did not believe that i would be perturbed about living in taiwan for the 4th of july. i have never been out of the country on independence day before. never.
today, i reflected on last year. i refer to it as the best day of my life. everything about it was simply perfect. soccer, the beach, coffee, mason jennings, fireworks, mexican food, and a really late night.
today, i taught my first classes and ate dumplings with teacher chris at the restaurant around the corner from where i live. not the same thing.
but he did lift my spirits. i try to maintain the attitude that we are all citizens of the world. we are all God's craftsmanship, His handiwork. His love for me knows no bounds, and His love for others knows no bounds. as one of many partakers in His image, i should want to know His glory in others ways. pray without ceasing, as He said. i believe that such prayer is in the form of doing. in the form of rejoicing in His glory through the many avenues of His creativity. and that includes other people. shouldn't i try to explore that? we have global, universal responsibilities to each other. this is why i'm here, i keep telling myself. if i honestly have such a philosophy, i have to make an effort to understand other people.
i find it funny, however, that every time i've been abroad, it has only reinforced my patriotism. not because i think my country is better. it's just different. but because america offers me a sense of belonging that i can't find anywhere else. it is one of the few things i feel i can understand, a place where i can simply be. i never spend a day in america feeling that i don't belong. certainly, i yearn for and enjoy being in other places, but in america, i simply am. it's like a pair of pajamas. i love other countries as i love my madden shoes or that fabulous dress i bought at h&m. but when i put on my pajamas, they are never, ever uncomfortable. i never feel that they simply aren't working for me. they allow me to be. and while i want to explore as many aspects of God's grand story as possible, want to promote the cooperation of culture, i will always, undoubtedly, be american.
or so the saying goes.
in one week, i've lost all concept of time. i honestly did not believe that i would be perturbed about living in taiwan for the 4th of july. i have never been out of the country on independence day before. never.
today, i reflected on last year. i refer to it as the best day of my life. everything about it was simply perfect. soccer, the beach, coffee, mason jennings, fireworks, mexican food, and a really late night.
today, i taught my first classes and ate dumplings with teacher chris at the restaurant around the corner from where i live. not the same thing.
but he did lift my spirits. i try to maintain the attitude that we are all citizens of the world. we are all God's craftsmanship, His handiwork. His love for me knows no bounds, and His love for others knows no bounds. as one of many partakers in His image, i should want to know His glory in others ways. pray without ceasing, as He said. i believe that such prayer is in the form of doing. in the form of rejoicing in His glory through the many avenues of His creativity. and that includes other people. shouldn't i try to explore that? we have global, universal responsibilities to each other. this is why i'm here, i keep telling myself. if i honestly have such a philosophy, i have to make an effort to understand other people.
i find it funny, however, that every time i've been abroad, it has only reinforced my patriotism. not because i think my country is better. it's just different. but because america offers me a sense of belonging that i can't find anywhere else. it is one of the few things i feel i can understand, a place where i can simply be. i never spend a day in america feeling that i don't belong. certainly, i yearn for and enjoy being in other places, but in america, i simply am. it's like a pair of pajamas. i love other countries as i love my madden shoes or that fabulous dress i bought at h&m. but when i put on my pajamas, they are never, ever uncomfortable. i never feel that they simply aren't working for me. they allow me to be. and while i want to explore as many aspects of God's grand story as possible, want to promote the cooperation of culture, i will always, undoubtedly, be american.
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