if you're looking to be authoritative...

...apparently, you need to look at me.

for whatever reason, i kicked ass in my teaching practice session yesterday. no, i'm not exaggerating. i just had a really, truly good day. i tried to envision all my pupils as kids to alleviate my anxiety, though i may or may not have been patronizing. i sure hope not.

during our feedback session, my more timid classmates were told to use my tone as an example of gentle and respectful authority in the classroom.

i will say that that is the first time anyone has ever told me that... ever. actually, that was my single-largest problem in taiwan. not with the kindergartners, but definitely with that whole s4 dynamic. i'd eventually just come to accept it. and in general, i'm not good at telling people what to do. ask my starbucks co-workers, with the exception of the new people. ask my friends, my family. i'm far too blue-white to exude any sort of authority over anyone anytime, except, apparently, in the classroom.

can it be that i'm actually just plain good at this?

it's a bird. it's a plane. no, really, what is it?

over the years, i've developed quite a skill in detaching myself from the things i own. generally speaking, i can get over not having and/or losing most things. and when it comes to possessions, i try not to pick favorites, until i recently discovered how much i really care about one particular object.

a few weeks ago, i went into a frenzy because i thought i'd lost a ring. i dug through every piece of jewelry i own. i turned over every object on my desk (where i typically keep it) and called the restaurants i'd recently visited, all in vain. it wasn't for a few hours, after turning over a picture frame, that i realized that it had rolled behind the pictures on my desk. i could have sworn i'd looked there before, but i think God knows that i would have cried. really cried. real tears. if i'd lost it. i chalk that one up to a miracle. the ring itself isn't worth much. i probably only spent a few dollars on it at a market in bangkok. and while i've bought a great deal of jewelry - most of it meaningless - at various markets all over the world, i was drawn to the uniqueness of this jeweler's particular design. i asked him about himself; he was turkish, had recently moved from istanbul, and had hoped to spread his design around as much as he could, particularly to foreigners (europeans, americans...) he even gave me a business card, which i promptly lost in typical "me" fashion.

the funny thing about this ring, too, is that it seems to inspire a lot of theories about what it resembles. every time i look at it, i see a mouse. my mother, however, sees grapevines. since my brother also sees a mouse, they have started to refer to it as "joy's mouse." please note, they call my nose piercing a "bug" and for a while referred to me as "bug-nose." either way, it always inspires commentary and questions from people around me. when i go grocery shopping or stop out for some drinks with friends, everybody has an opinion about it. some positive and others negative. who knew that a small, slightly bizarre article of clothing could spark such a vocal response?

so i'm posting it up here. and i'd love to know: what do you see?