de blogging

"old is the new new."
or so the saying goes.

confession: i have a problem with blogging. i know people who have gotten into trouble doing this; relationships have fallen apart. people have a tendency to get far too personal, and there is no reason for it. i don't want to know the minute details of your existence - and i probably shouldn't if i don't know you very well. i strive to write provocatively and transparently, but without getting into the minute details of my life.

in my lifetime, i have kept probably 2 or 3 blogs consistently. livejournal captured the hopeless drama of high school. and xanga, oh my dear xanga, was with me throughout the last two years of high school and all the way through college. the truth is, i would never delete them, because i enjoy going back and seeing how my life has developed. it is such a refreshing reminder that i am, indeed, growing up and learning from my mistakes, as well as a great catalog of God's abundant faithfulness in my life. it's been my mantra since freshman year at chapman that God is, above all, faithful. despite myself. and despite my objections to the online world, i'm beginning this blog. and as is painfully obvious, all this seems hypocritical. but just try to think of my blogging experience as an environmentalist that still drives a car. they realize that what they do seems contradictory, so they attempt to compensate by driving an energy-efficient, low-emissions vehicle. so what is this all about? i believe that deeply personal things should be recorded in personal journals, not online. so why not keep a journal? why go through this exercise? and why switch when i still have my beloved xanga and myspace?

i'll have you all know that i do keep a personal, hold-it-in-your-hands journal, and have since i was seven years old. it's stuffed full of my musings, as well as letters and cards given to me over the years. and really, it holds all the stuff that i don't want you, my online readers, to know about me: things i think about, do, or feel. if you're friends with me, you probably already know some of these things, but why would i put it out there for strangers to find?

i'm switching because college is over, and it's time for a change. that part's not complicated.

curtailing the reason for switching is also my purpose. this is going to contain very little about what i say or do and far more about my opinions or musings on various topics. i have to write. in an average day, dozens of things occur to me, and my hand twitches with the need to put them on paper. the simple thought "that's peculiar" is enough to initiate a dissertation.

why not keep it to myself? the reason why seems absurd, but it's true: i write much better and much more consistently if i know there's a possibility that others will read it. yes, i love to write for myself, but there's no tension in doing so. my reasoning is not being challenged, because i know what i mean. blogging forces me to be complete.

so. welcome.