dante had it easy

"so it goes."
or so the saying goes.

let's reflect on one of the circles of hell in my life.

today, about 8:30am at starbucks, our filtered water simply stopped working. this meant no coffee, no hot tea, and no espresso drinks, including no steamed milk, as all the machines that we use to make the drinks are directly connected to the filtered water system. we were, however, capable of the following: pastries, iced tea and iced tea lemonades at full strength, iced chai, iced coffee, and frappuccinos... at least until the ingredients ran out, as filtered water is required to make prep for them. as luck would have it, today was also national coffee break day, which meant that we were giving away free coffee from 10am to 12pm. with no coffee brewing capabilities. fuuuuun.

as a result, 2 hours of my day went something like this:
customer: i'd like a venti latte with nonf--...
me: (interrupting), i'm afraid we can't make lattes right now. there is a sign on the front door explaining that our filtered water system stopped working this morning, meaning that we can't make brewed coffee, though my partner is demoing some on the floor, and we can't use our espresso machines.
customer: so your espresso machine's not working?
me: no, it's working. it's just directly connected to the filtered water system, and there's no way around this fact. without filtered water, it can't produce espresso shots or steam milk.
customer: (annoyed) oh. so what can you make?
me: we can make iced chai, frappuccinos, iced tea, and iced coffee, because none of these require filtered water or steamed milk. if you want coffee, we're giving it away for free, and if none of those work, i can direct you to the nearest starbucks about a mile down the street.
customer: oh. so can you make me a caramel macchiato?
me: no, because the caramel macchiato requires espresso shots.
customer: oh, i see. what about a cappuccino?
me: no, because the cappuccino requires steamed milk.
customer: iced caramel macchiato?
me: no, because we can't make espresso.
customer: well... can you blend the caramel macchiato?
me: it would taste similar to the caramel frappuccino, and we can make those if you'd like. if not, we have free coffee behind you.
customer: okay, i'll take that.

*pounds head against wall. repeatedly.*

i like my job, but i'm tired of having a degree and having to deal with people of this sort all day long.

i was surprised by two things in today's saga of disheartening lessons about the human race. namely:
1. people refused free shit. okay, so maybe coffee isn't your favorite, or maybe you haven't tried it. it's free. i'd try it for that very reason, and if i didn't like it, that would be okay. no skin off my nose, because it didn't cost me anything!!
2. people really get upset if they have to vary from their usual routine. and also, they have no idea what goes into their drinks. so to those who think they're cool because they have a complicated drink: please shut up, because really you don't know anything. if you continue to ask for lattes and cafe au laits after i've explained to you that we have neither espresso-making capabilities nor milk-steaming abilities, you really don't know what constitutes the drink. in which case, just ask! i love talking about it; it's one of the few highlights of my dreary existence. we go through weeks of training and months of perfecting our skills (seriously, we're nerdy enough to argue about this and compete for title of most glorious foam... mine's pretty good, i'll have you know), and we'll gladly talk about it if you sincerely don't know what's in it. at least know the difference between a macchiato and a cappuccino... it's good to know.

my days living a latte-free existence during lent have truly given me an appreciation for black coffee and the doppio. and also, my next boyfriend needs to love coffee.