one step towards child-rearing

"no day but today."
or so the saying goes.

for the past few years, i've become progressively insecure about my maternal instincts. i've had roommates who couldn't wait to have children. they love love love babies and kids, and show it in their abilities to take care of ill college students such as me. yes, with all the classes and hours at work, i spent the greater part of my college years recovering from some bout with illness. i once told heather that i wasn't sure i even had the mommy gene in me. i mean, i'd feel fairly ready if i did, right? i could barely take care of myself, let alone someone else. my own personal philosophy is to just suck it up, but it's not like i can say that to a kid as he or she complains of a sore throat.

heather's advice (probably inspired by 28 days): "we just need to buy you a plant, joy. if that lives, we'll move on to a pet. and if that's successful, well, maybe you'll feel better about humans."


so in the spirit of joy and maybe making my apartment a little more cheerful, i went to the flower market today and bought a plant. a real, live plant. dusty pink large orchids, in fact. i even bought some soil and a new pot in which to transport it. ah, here's to praying for inspiration.