or so the saying goes.
so i realized today that i have said scarcely anything about my abode since i moved to taipei in june. to be perfectly honest, it's because i didn't really want you to see it. it's been in a state of semi-madness since i moved here, though it's had its brief moments of relative organization. relative being the operative word, of course.
i feel that i need to say something about why this is so - to explain/defend myself, if you will. you see, this is the first time i've really had my own place, though one could argue that it's still not even mine.
what i mean, though, is that i haven't had my very own space since i moved away from temecula 5 years ago. sure, i had my own room then, but my mother converted it into my brother's bedroom almost immediately after i left. this didn't upset me or anything. i still had 3 brothers living at home, and 2 of them were still sharing, so it only seemed fair that one would get my old room. then brian moved out, and christopher promptly took over his old space. what can i say? my old room has never quite lost its girlish charm or aura, so he couldn't wait to move out. presently, it's a guest room. it's comfortably neutral, neither mine nor anyone else's, though i do stay there when i occasionally come back to temecula. granted, i have to fight brian for it, but it's rare that we're home at the same time.
so since i moved out of my parents' house, i've lived in 7... count 'em... 7 different places. i moved twice my first year at chapman, due to an intolerable living situation. i don't speak of my first room... i think i mostly like to pretend that that first month never existed. i stayed in braden for the rest of the school year, then moved home for the summer. i then moved back to chapman, but had to switch dorms again because a roommate bailed. it was back to braden for a little over half the term, but then i had to leave for london in january. i spent half a year in london, fortunately in the same room, then came back to temecula for 2 months before moving to la casita de limon, where i stayed until i moved to taipei. whew.
in all those places, i always lived in a state of relative residence. i settled in, all the while knowing that my time there was very limited. the closest i've ever come to my own place was la casita de limon, but even then, i was starkly aware that one, i would be leaving after college, two, i didn't want to take up too much space because there were 5 of us crammed in there, and three, i didn't have much money. when i got some, it went into my wardrobe instead of my living space. i've always kept my space in such a way that i could pack it all up within a day if i really wanted to. i kept extra boxes under my bed, and limited my belongings to things i could carry in two suitcases and a carry-on. and always always always, come moving day, everything could be fit into one car. i never got attached to my belongings because, more likely than not, they probably couldn't come to wherever i was going next. and yes, i'm a chronic minimalist.
so here i am in taipei, the same old scenario facing me once again. i'm in a place, but i once again have no intention of staying. come next june, i expect to embark on a new adventure, whatever and wherever that may be. and once again, i expect to pack my life away neatly into two suitcases and a carry-on.
so what exactly happened today? i suppose i realized that my nomadic lifestyle, while exciting, has left me unable to find a place to call home. and today, as i pondered this, i realized how difficult it has become. i thought about how frustrating i was at la casita de limon to have to search through boxes to find some of the things i needed. i thought about how semi-decorated my place always was - how i put my own personality into a little corner of the house, but left almost all the rest of it untouched. i thought about how, in england, i feel like i barely even unpacked - just moved things from suitcases to drawers and back again. and here i am in taipei, the same way. i've been keeping many items simply in a drawer, and other things still haven't been unpacked. like jewelry, for instance. i've taken out what i've worn, but it still gets tucked away into the same little bag that i brought it all in, every single time. and as i've pondered bringing new things into my little hovel, i've always told myself that it's unnecessary because, hey - it probably can't come with me anyway.
but today. today, i snapped. this saturday was just like many of the other saturdays i've had here. i did various chores and laundry, just like i always do, tried to find suitable spaces to hang my wet clothes (this is always a problem for me), then glanced briefly at my bed. i winced a little because it's simply uninviting, no matter how accustomed i am to it, no matter how many nights i've slept well in it. because i had limited packing space, i brought limited bedlinens. i brought one large top sheet that could be tucked into any sized bed (i wasn't sure how large my bed would be), another top sheet - this one twin-sized, and my beloved blue blanket that sarice gave me for my 19th birthday. my bed here, however, is not exactly a double but not exactly a queen either. it is thus far too big for my top red top sheet or sarice's blanket, though the other sheet covers the mattress sufficiently. i've simply moved things around to suit my sleeping needs. today, though, i looked at my bed irritably. it just wasn't enough anymore. my top sheet kept being pulled from under the mattress because it's not designed to be tucked away. i have one pillow, but it's not enough, especially since my bed is made for two. and the other blankets just aren't enough. that's it, i said to myself. i'm going to buy sheets today.
so i went on an adventure in the taipei ikea, which is a whole lot of glorious things all in one space. and as i walked around my private haven, i started to think about the fact that my place really doesn't feel like it's mine at all. i realized that, though i know i have to pack everything up or get rid of it before i leave next june, i'm tired of coming home, but never completely feeling like i'm in a state of rest. i'm tired of feeling like i'm still in a hotel - still living partially out of my bags and never feeling like i have the freedom to personalize my surroundings. so with all the temptations of ikea around me, i caved. and i spent my entire afternoon decorating my apartment. granted, there isn't much space and i'm still a hard-core minimalist, but i had to do something to make my burrow more inviting to myself after a long day at work. having never actually decorated a place on purpose, this was very exciting for me. i've always just pulled together bits and pieces of my other places for each room i've lived in after that. but here - i had the freedom to do something new! so i found some fun items in the colors the suit me best - red, green, and black. i guess if i have to get rid of most of it when i leave, so be it. but for the next 10 months, i'm going to be a very happy girl.
here are some pictures of my surroundings:
my desk with a basket for me to organize the many things i use every day. i have three primary bags: a regular purse, a bag for paperwork or homework, and my traipsing bag. as keys, mrt cards, and money tends to switch bags almost every day, i thought this might be a good place to keep it all, instead of combing my apartment frantically before leaving for work every morning. also, please note the red seat covering, the green candle, my plant marty, the red rug next to the bathroom and my sarong from indonesia, all things i put out today. also, you might not be able to see it, but i now have chinese tivo, which is pretty much useless to me because all but like 12 channels are in chinese. and the program itself is in chinese so i couldn't even record shows if i wanted to. you all might also be asking yourself why i have a rug outside my bathroom. well gentlemen and women of the western world, welcome to a culture where they do not bother to separate your bathroom into neat little sections for you. normally, you might thing, a proper bathroom needs a space for a toilet, a space for a sink, and a space for a bath/shower. this is not true my friends, as asian culture for some reason deems this an inefficient use of space. so why bother separating it when you can have it all crammed into a little 4x6ft. area? my bathroom, it turns out, is so much more than this, and spends the greater part of its existence sopping wet. my solution is to close the door, crack the window, and use it as a place to hang clothes on occasion. as it was wet when i was taking these pictures and is now housing all my wet underwear, i did not take a picture of my bathroom for you. it is, however, very clean despite its almost perpetual state of dampness. by some miracle of God, i don't have mildew or mold. however, the floor always seems to have some sort of moisture on it, and unfortunately my feet get very dirty from walking around taipei or very slippery after i've taken a shower. ergo, i either track dirt around my apartment or i slip and slide. my solution is, now, to put a rug outside my door.
moving on - here's my new bed, complete with red sheets, new pillows, and the really awesome colorful pillow they had for like 1USD at ikea. yesssssss.
here's a little bit more of my apartment. you can see some of my "kitchen" area, my wardrobe, and a few shoes i was too lazy to put away before taking this picture. yes, i realize that there are many bottles on my refrigerator. okay, here's the deal, people. i'm saving them to recycle. however, the garbage trucks only come by once a day at the same time, so if i miss them, i don't get to throw my trash away. and they stay for like 1 minute tops, so i have just enough time to throw away whatever i can carry in two hands before they leave. one time, i actually chased a truck, and it didn't slow down, so i had to hurl my garbage into it from like 10 feet away. garbage stops for no one. i sometimes go over a week without throwing my trash away. taipei is virtually void of garbage cans, so i have to simply bide my time. the last time the truck came by, i had to use the opportunity to throw away the priority items - i.e. the regular garbage and the garbage in my bathroom. next time, folks. next time.
and finally. meet marty.
marty is my orchid, clearly. there's that saying that you really don't get attached to something unless you've named it. so naming it is just another step in actually keeping it alive, right? as i thought about an appropriate name for my orchid, i was inclined to give it a more delicate name than marty. i mean, i've always been under the impression that orchids are delicate flowers. ah, but i don't think marty is delicate at all. he's been alive for nearly 2 weeks, arguably longer than i've ever kept anything alive. and he still looks pretty good at that. he sits here by himself all day, and only requires water about once every other day. my apartment gets a paltry bit of natural sunlight, but marty doesn't care... he just keeps blooming. he's there to greet me when i wake up and when i come home from work, and just hangs out looking beautiful and patient even when i'm discouraged by my horrid chinese. i daresay that it takes an especially patient and resilient plant to live with me, so "marty" is perfectly appropriate. if he actually stays alive till i have to leave next june, i'm not sure what i'm going to do with him. it seems unfortunate to have to get rid of something that actually survived that long, but i doubt marty would like traipsing through russia much. maybe he'll find a home just like layce's larry...
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