the saga of my tortured relationship with london, part 542.

i'm good at traveling. yes, i know that this can mean a lot of things, but i've practiced and failed and learned... and in all, i feel that i can actually say i'm an accomplished, savvy traveler. even though my semester abroad was simply wrought with bad luck, the past few years abroad have gone by with little trouble at all. and in the course of all this, i've spent the majority of my time in very foreign cultures, all of which don't speak english. amazingly, my competence has helped produce some enjoyable and fun travel experiences in these places and little tragedy. sure, i crashed a scooter into a parked van in bali. and there was my pengyou that drove me to the great wall in china. he didn't speak any english, but damn did we have fun! and i'm not sure how safe that bus ride out of st. petersburg was, but you know... makes you stronger, they say.

yet london - damn you, london - somehow manages to twist fate, worldliness, and general dignity into something truly dreadful for me. everything i've learned gets whittled down into borderline incompetence while i'm there.

he told me that i was going to regret monday night when i had to fly into the london the next day, but i brushed it off. i was having way too much fun. and everything went mostly well in london, but it seems that the unlikelihood - nay - the more convenient something is, the more likely am to mess it up. it's generally small things like: trying to wire money to my roommates. or the automated machine in the tube eating my 10 quid for no apparent reason.

or the best of all - missing my trans-atlantic flight from terminal 5. granted, people, this is not due to the usual reasons one would miss a flight: irresponsibility. misreading the ticket. traffic. no, my friends, i missed a flight solely because of bureaucracy. some ridiculous 35 minute rule regarding security that was never explained to me when i checked in. i didn't even know that was possible, but leave it to me!

london, i have deemed you my favorite place in the entire world. you are the place where i would spend the rest of my life if i could... my reason for hoping i meet and marry a charming british man whose wit makes up for his awkwardness. or an ex-pat with a penchant for you and your ways.

really, we must stop doing this. i'm beginning to feel like i'm doing all the work in this relationship, and it can't go on forever. taipei never treated me this way, and i'm still giving you chances. i come back next month, on my way to praha. i'm begging you to be more welcoming this time around. stop eating my money and computers. stop allowing weird men to follow and harass me. and for the love of God, it'd be nice if i could make my flights. or at least have a little dignity intact. other countries give me that, why can't you?