it's a bird. it's a plane. no, really, what is it?

over the years, i've developed quite a skill in detaching myself from the things i own. generally speaking, i can get over not having and/or losing most things. and when it comes to possessions, i try not to pick favorites, until i recently discovered how much i really care about one particular object.

a few weeks ago, i went into a frenzy because i thought i'd lost a ring. i dug through every piece of jewelry i own. i turned over every object on my desk (where i typically keep it) and called the restaurants i'd recently visited, all in vain. it wasn't for a few hours, after turning over a picture frame, that i realized that it had rolled behind the pictures on my desk. i could have sworn i'd looked there before, but i think God knows that i would have cried. really cried. real tears. if i'd lost it. i chalk that one up to a miracle. the ring itself isn't worth much. i probably only spent a few dollars on it at a market in bangkok. and while i've bought a great deal of jewelry - most of it meaningless - at various markets all over the world, i was drawn to the uniqueness of this jeweler's particular design. i asked him about himself; he was turkish, had recently moved from istanbul, and had hoped to spread his design around as much as he could, particularly to foreigners (europeans, americans...) he even gave me a business card, which i promptly lost in typical "me" fashion.

the funny thing about this ring, too, is that it seems to inspire a lot of theories about what it resembles. every time i look at it, i see a mouse. my mother, however, sees grapevines. since my brother also sees a mouse, they have started to refer to it as "joy's mouse." please note, they call my nose piercing a "bug" and for a while referred to me as "bug-nose." either way, it always inspires commentary and questions from people around me. when i go grocery shopping or stop out for some drinks with friends, everybody has an opinion about it. some positive and others negative. who knew that a small, slightly bizarre article of clothing could spark such a vocal response?

so i'm posting it up here. and i'd love to know: what do you see?

tag-action

the bigger mystery is whether or not you're going to believe this stuff.
1. i was run over by a truck and lived to tell about it.
2. i climbed an active volcano in indonesia, and almost froze to death in the process. in the summer. also, i couldn't move for a day afterward.
3. i once gave a speech at a kmt rally in taiwan. in chinese. sort of. plus, i met the guy that later became the president, who probably spoke english better than me. it was not a day of personal greatness.
4. i am uncommonly good at remembering quotes and conversations, especially things i hear on television. i have to restrain myself, because i'm pretty sure i have the capacity to creep people out.
5. i keep realizing that i have now been single for over 2 years. on a very technical, label-dependent level, anyway.
i really don't want to talk about it.
6. i've always thought i had an addiction to pasta, but lately i'm starting to believe it's actually tomatoes. for serious. i eat some form of tomato every day, sometimes more than once, and would probably eat more if i could.
7. 108 hours is the longest i've gone without a shower. this was not so much a choice as it was forced upon me by the russian rail network. and p.s. there is no good way to appear even moderately hygienic after 108 hours on the trans-siberian.

aaron and kirsten choate, nicole, sarah, edward, dano, and myers, you're up. everybody else has already been tagged elsewhere.

huh?

you know what's a deceivingly large country?
thailand.

note 2

fyi:
visiting a gyno in taiwan is just as equally awkward as visiting one back in the states. yikes.

and they WILL charge you 500NT to get a routine test because you're "too young."

note

fyi:
packing to traipse the globe + quitting job + moving = AHHHHHHHH!

p.s. going to the dentist cost me all of nothing this weekend. this is either because of the insurance or because i work as usas. they remembered me from all those trips with the kids.
still. huzzah!

"miss meckes... i'm sorry, but you have hepatitis b."

"it's nothing i haven't heard before."
or so the saying goes.

one thing i really love about taiwanese health care is that doctors generally believe in the body's natural defenses. unlike back home, where we pump ourselves with over-the-counter medication, vaccines, antibiotics, and prescription drugs, the taiwanese are very wary of putting foreign agents into our bodies. i've been hard-pressed to find cough syrup, niquil, ibuprofin, or even aspirin. in fact, i brought most of those supplies, and the closest i've gotten here are multivitamins and those packets of vitamin c that you mix in with hot water and drink when you're sick. i know, it seems cruel for women to live without ibuprofin, but their solution to those unbearable cramps is to simply drink more warm liquids. i have tested this theory over the course of a month, and it actually works. i'm a believer in luke-warm water these days. but upon visiting doctors, they usually try to find other alternatives to your problems. herbs. getting more sleep. less stress in your life. staying warmer.

i've learned to appreciate the simplicity of those solutions. back home, i found myself merely wanting a pill that would allow me to live the exact same way, when the obvious solution was to just slow down.

naturally, their reluctance to putting medicine into your system also translates to things like x-rays and, of course, vaccinations. wow, my mom would love it here.

that's why, when i came calling to a local clinic looking for my hepatitis booster shots, they suggested that i DON'T get them. really? i thought. because i'm supposed to. it's what i read on the who website. though they also told me to get the japanese e. vaccine, and NOBODY carries it! "it only boosts you another 5%, maybe. and you're young and healthy. we should just check your antibody count. if they're high enough, it won't even be necessary for a month of travel. and as for japanese e., they only have that for children. at 22, if you don't already have it, it's unlikely that you'll get it." when all was said and done and he'd answered all my questions, i consented to simply checking my antibodies and going from there. besides, checking the antibody count was expensive enough... i can't imagine what they'd charge me for the actual vaccines. and by expensive, i mean all of $20. welcome to national health care.

he drew some blood and told me to come back after three days to see the result. because of my job, i didn't get back until today. another doctor was in, but he also spoke english. he took me into the back, glanced at my chart, took a breath and told me i have hepatitis b.

".....i have hepatitis b?" i asked.
"yes. you have it," he confirmed.

suddenly, my mouth went dry, my heart raced, and my entire experience in taiwan flashed before my eyes. how is that even possible? i thought. is that even possible? i've led an almost painfully celibate life... i don't even have someone to cuddle with during a movie, and you're telling me that somehow i contracted a disease that is, by and large, mostly passed on through sexual intercourse?!?! now what? i wondered. treatment? is it treatable? should i go back to america right now? can i go back to america? were those previous shots worth crap? did they malfunction and give me the disease instead of protecting me? i know that if it's unlikely to happen, it will probably happen to me, but COME ON! my luck can't possibly be that bad!

"oh, i'm sorry! i was thinking antigen... this is your antibody count. no, you're fine! your antibody levels are very high. you don't need another shot."
"oh my goodness, you scared me."
"haha! sorry! don't worry about getting it when you travel. you're very healthy."

at least i managed to laugh a little afterwards.


but son of a b. he really had me for a second there.

oh snap

i have 20 more days of work. 20! one month from today, i will be traipsing through the absolute middle of nowhere, asia. the cusp of civilization... oh, i'm so excited. i mostly want to see if the sky gets any bluer than that.

apparently, russia approved my visa. which is great. even though it took 4 weeks.

i spent today in fulong. it's always weird to see the pacific from the other side. i keep hoping that it's bluer or warmer or that maybe it smells different here, but it's the same. and maybe that's why i love it so much.

this past week was strange. we're down to only women at work. i suddenly have seniority. and i got absurdly ill on thursday. it was a fever and a cold or something, but mostly, i think it was pure, uninhibited, unadulterated exhaustion. and it knocked me flat for nearly 24 hours. i don't think i've ever slept that much.

also, chinese medicine is amazing.
but it tastes like ground chalk.
and goes down just as smoothly.

it's the small things that matter

or so i've heard it said.

in general, i consider most things to be over-appreciated. appearance. money. fashion trends (not to be confused with fashion). large things (beds, cars, closets, refrigerators).

and conversely, i consider other things to be sorely under-appreciated. hot water. underwear. television on dvd. the quesadilla.


and lately, one more thing.

behold, the guava:














while it's everywhere, i mean under-appreciated like apples are in our culture. they're just... there. say you're standing amongst an array of fruit, and your choices are strawberries, watermelon, raspberries, blueberries, and apples. which one do you pick? i'll bet it's not the apples!
guava is similar here. mango season comes, and BAM... guava? what's guava? it also will not get picked over dragon fruit, star fruit, kiwi, or pineapple.



i really couldn't tell you why guava wasn't a regular part of my diet back home. wait, yes i can. because you don't find it at home. you eat things like watermelon, strawberries, apples, grapes, and bananas. not guava.

it's a simple fruit. it contains no potency, no zing. but i have to say it's one of the most consistent aspects of my experience in taiwan. even when mango failed me on both the fresh and ice sand level, i don't remember there being a time when i couldn't get guava. and every time i eat it, the better it tastes.

so easily forgettable. so underwhelming in taste and appearance. but time after time, when my body starts screaming for something that isn't processed or greasy or rice, there it is at 7-11 or in the school kitchen, sitting there, staring at me, reminding me of how much better i'll feel when i have some.

mix it with a little prune powder and a half dozen cherry tomatoes, and you have something i'll definitely miss when i go home.

one day me speak pretty.

i promise, every time i sit down to write something, i hope to post something good. i actually have maybe a dozen entries, but none of them are finished, and they're about much more profound and/or entertaining topics than i've been posting lately. musings. quandaries. observations. things revolving around some of the following:
-abortions in taiwan... did you know that this is common and acceptable? i didn't until recently. even though it's legal back home, it's still not okay. if you get one, be prepared to vehemently defend your reasons to anyone who finds out. here, it's simply an inconvenience to having unprotected sex. wait, unprotected sex? yes, well, the sexual tension of youth culture here would require a few dozen blogs to begin with, so i'll skip it. but there's a machismo in asian culture that states that wearing a condom is emasculating. yet man-purses, sequins, and copious amount of hair product somehow are not. also, they apparently don't learn anything in sex education, because nobody likes to talk about it. i didn't say it, chris' taiwanese friend did. people are too conservative to talk about sex, but not too conservative to have it. hmmmm... christian culture kind of has the same problem, i'm discovering. but that's another post.
-the convenience store phenomenon and how it just might make the world a safer place. really!
-my new-found appreciation for socialized health care, followed by a commentary on how overpriced and inconvenient medicine is back home. i'd argue that we're paying for better health care, but we're not. i'd argue that we're paying for better medicine, but we're not. i'd argue that we're paying for more qualified doctors, but we're not. i'd argue that we're paying for a longer life expectancy and a healthier population, but we're not. i'd argue that we're paying for more personal relationships with our doctors... for convenience... for protection... for consistency... for safety and legitimacy... but we're not. WHAT ARE WE PAYING FOR!
-taiwanese fashion. how it can be gloriously rich and beautiful, or maybe its ability to burn your eyes out of their sockets.
-my infatuation with jay chou and chinese films.
-the hierarchy of asian culture. japan. korea. china. taiwan. hong kong. the philippines. indonesia. cambodia. thailand. vietnam. burma. india. no, they're not the same, and you'd be surprised. i learned this from taiwanese friends and other ex-pats, and slowly, it's begun to make a lot of sense.
-the glory of commercials on taipei buses.

all half-finished or only just begun. why? because my ability to write and speak has diminished severely. i can't write cohesive thoughts anymore, people. vocabulary? all my sentences and words sound the same. my sentences don't make any sense anymore, because i don't speak english. i speak esl teacher. it's a terrible half-breed of a language, both stealth and completely untraceable as it sneaks upon you. it begins with a sentence, and before you know it, you're asking questions like "what is your mommy's hair look like?" you're just too lazy to correct yourself and say "does" instead.

lately, i've contemplated bringing some of these esl-isms back with me and seeing if people notice. sometimes, i think it would be hilarious. people refer to each other as "the" something. "the" teacher joy. "the" brian. i wonder how long i'd have to say it before people stopped and asked me what was wrong with me. the other fun ones include: how to do? how to say? don't have! (instead of didn't) and speaking with your hands. a lot. also, counting things instead of saying "a", "the." make a line becomes make one line. bring me a pencil is now bring me one pencil. i haven't started calling things "my one" anymore, because i hate that more than anything, though i have started making the same sounds people make when they're unhappy. just wait till it comes out of me... you might find it to be the most terrible thing. ever.

we'll see if i ever rediscover myself enough to finish those blogs.

easy amusement

"game. set. match."
or so the saying goes.

since thursday, aro and i have been embroiled in a fierce, facebook-supported game of scrabble, thanks to the new application "scrabulous." at our rate of play - i.e. one move per person per day, i expect that it will take at least another week to complete.

but the truly amazing thing is that i'm actually playing scrabble with him on the other side of the ocean, and i have the convenience of making a move whenever it's - well - convenient. i get off work and get a nifty notification in my facebook inbox: aaron humphrey has just made a move in scrabulous. click here to see the board. i play my turn and wait until aro wakes up or gets off work or something of the sort to play his.

who needs physical interaction? also, he doesn't know this, but at one point i had only vowels.

duality of man: musings on a culture. and also, objects that make my life awesome.

"just because you can doesn't mean you should."
or so the saying goes.

when i first arrived in taiwan, naturally, i was immediately struck by initial cultural differences. different rules. different mentality. different language. different work ethic. different standards of beauty. and on and on it goes. i've been here almost 2 months now, and i've found that i've been assimilating to a number of nuances quite easily. the unspoken rules (or lack thereof when it comes to traffic) no longer affect me. nevertheless, taiwanese and chinese culture to be surprisingly quirky. while some of these things drive me crazy, i've come to terms with the realization that, one, i will probably take many of them home with me, and two, it will take a while to shake them. a few examples to follow:

shuffling of feet. we all wear indoor shoes when we go to work, and t. chris has pointed out to me that the taiwanese shuffle their feet something awful. i mean, it's easy to see why. we have smooth, lovely faux-wood floors throughout the school, and you simply glide on them on your rubber and plastic soles. but it sounds awful and sloppy. i'm happy to report that i've not yet picked this up, but i'm very aware of it now. and i've probably spoken too soon.

yes/no dichotomy. when speaking of choices, the chinese love to keep it simple. so they might ask you a question, then follow it up in chinese with your two choices. translated into english, the most popular ones are, "yes or no," "have or don't have" or "want or don't want?" this sounds best in chinese, but it creeps into their english as well. for example, if i were to ask you a question, i might say something like, "i need the map. have or don't have?" then you would respond with "i have" or "i don't have." like i said, it makes sense in chinese, but it sounds incomplete in english. unfortunately, when we learn a new language, we have a tendency to apply our own grammar rules to the new language. sometimes this is effective and sometimes it is not. in this case, it gets the idea across, but it's improper. therefore, when i often ask teachers or students something, they might respond to me with "t. joy, i don't have!" "t. joy, do you want?" "t. joy, i cannot!" due to habit, i have found that i'm starting to pick this up. chad also does it. chris is a little more conscientious about his speech, but we all subconsciously simplify our language because it's necessary to help others understand. i sometimes catch myself asking "do you want?" or ending my sentences with that annoying "yes?"... "today is the writing competition, yes?" it's terrible. i'm afraid that by the time i get back to the states, the rest of the world won't be able to understand me. or they might think english was MY second language. missing articles. odd sentence patterns. simplified vocabulary.
"*slowly* yes, can i have 1 *indicates 1 with finger* grande toffee nut latte *pause to make sure they understand* with nonfat milk *pause again*."
"would you like whipped cream on that?"
"yes, i want. little bit *indicates little bit*."
"that will be $3."
"i don't have. you take credit card, yes?"
"yes. would you like your receipt?"
"no, i don't want. xie xie."

yikes.

the non-committal "m'm." i have a mixed relationship with this sound, but i've decided that there really is nothing quite as brilliant as this grunt-like utterance. it doesn't really transfer to english, but if i had to explain it, the sound falls somewhere in the midst of a thoughtful "huh," an "uh-huh" of agreement, and a "mm'hmm" of understanding. the truly wondrous thing about this utterance, however, has less to do with its meaning and more to do with the emphasis you put on it. i've realized that one of the major differences between chinese and english is that we communicate through the significant raising or lowering of our voices, and different emphasis placed in different parts of sentences. for example, we phrase a question much more differently than a statement. chinese, in contrast, has a lot of the same words pronounced in different ways. depending on the tone, you could be either indicating that you would like a cold beverage or telling someone that you have misplaced your fish. sentence tones do not vary as much either. ending your sentences with "...ma" in chinese is the same as a question.
anyway, that was a rabbit trail. what i love/hate about "m'm" is that its meaning is interchangeable, yet the tone remains the same! you say it if you agree, if you understand, or to simply indicate that you're listening. due to the natural human tendency to be lazy, we fall back on this all the time. we just eek out this non-word, and it's up to the other person to decide in which category its meaning falls.
and yes, it does cause some miscommunication. is it agreement? understanding? a combination?

fear. the other foreign teachers and i have established that the taiwanese are definitely afraid of two things in particular: the sun and water. yes, we know. the sun shines more brightly here than in most other places and we're on an island, thus, surrounded by water. their curious fear strikes me as rather odd, as hawaiians are also subjected to constant sunlight and surrounded by a rather large body of water, but they wouldn't have it any other way. i mean, it makes sense to be a little afraid of things which are foreign to you, such as the characteristic californian fear of rain. but water and sun? when it's everywhere?
however, i have recently decided that the taiwanese are not simply afraid of the sun itself, but of the sky. yes, the sky. when it's sunny, they walk under umbrellas and congregate in the shade beneath the shadow of buildings. when it's raining, they do the same. i've witnessed a man outside of his house fixing a chair at 2am wearing a helmet. why? we don't know. my only conclusion is that it's the sky. i
t makes so much sense. if you're driving something uncovered, you wear a helmet. otherwise, you're protected under a car. and it explains why there are so many covered walkways. and all balconies have covers.
even on cloudy days, when the sun seldom breaks through but it's not raining, people carry their umbrellas, putting them away when they're shaded by buildings and whipping them out instantly when they are walking in uncovered areas.

personally? i hate umbrellas. they're obnoxious to carry, and i like the rain. i never used an umbrella in england, just wore coats. and here, i simply get wet. i don't care. and as for the sun, well, it's always been my understanding that it's a friend of mine.

things which make my life easier/awesome

dumplings. arguably, the best kind of food there is. for the cost of less than 2usd, you can have yourself a filling, portable, and always delicious little meal. i eat dumplings several times per week, usually when i just want something simple to eat and i'm not incredibly hungry. they love me at the little place around the corner.

tea, tea, tea. i love tea. bubble tea. fruit tea. black tea. herbal tea. hot tea. iced tea. the taiwanese love their tea, and i could drink it every day. while i love english tea, the taiwanese take your tea experience to a whole new level. there are some dandy little tea combinations that i love, particularly fruit iced tea, which is a whole lot like sangria, but without the alcoholic content. it's cold and refreshing, and has fruit in the bottom of your cup. and of course, bubble tea. it's a drink AND a meal. i just really love chewing the tapioca at the bottom.

sitting in public buses. buses here are really clean. and air-conditioned. and comfortable. i ride the bus to work every day, and it's actually my preferred means of transportation. you get to see the city and you can sit in the comfortable seats.

7-eleven. for anything you might need at any given hour of the day. you just never know. hungry? it's always open.

night markets. need a tazer? an outfit? new shoes? a bag? food? a new pet? go to the night market, and you'll be sure to find it. it's like a swap meet, but not just for sunday mornings.

fruit. i love exotic fruits. well. exotic by american standards. mangoes. kiwis. pineapple. coconut. mangoes are the new awesome, and i will be very sad when you can't purchase them for an everyday, normal price in the united states.

not tipping. i've worked service jobs. they suck because people walk all over you, and your tips don't make up for it. i also think it's bullshit that tips in the states have become an expectation rather than a reward for good service. i've gone to restaurants where i was ignored and/or had to wait for 2 hours for a seat, and then got an earful about how my party didn't tip enough. tip enough? we gave 15%! and that was generous! i'm sorry, did i miss the memo that says tipping is compulsory? and that the new rule is 25%, though you're going to tell me it's 15? if it's expected, why don't you just bill me for it rather than making me go through this whole routine where i have to calculate (or in some cases, mis-calculate) how much of my hard-earned money i have to give you for your (sometimes... not always) lousy service? i understand. you depend on it. so do i. it's important. but i appreciate living in a society where it's not expected... where i simply pay the bill. "then how can those people make any money?" well, they don't have to tip anyone else, so we all win, don't we? if you feel inclined to give money for good service, great, but i'm tired of this expectation. when i worked at starbucks, we earned money off peoples' generosity. i was lucky in that i worked at a store where we had a number of regulars who loved us. they always left us a generous tip because they liked us and our service. it was never expected. i'd never stopped working at starbucks if i made 15%... nay, 7.5% (half for me and half for whatever partner i was working with) of all the drinks (or food) we served. i cleaned up after you when you so inconsiderately left your cups and plates around the lobby. i made drinks. i rang you up. i kept the coffee fresh. i cleaned/stocked/re-stocked/re-cleaned/organized/circulated your pastries. i complied when they added the warming component to my job but didn't offer me a pay increase. i washed dishes and took out trash. i developed/perfected my ability to make you glorious, velvety soy/non-fat/breve/whole milk foam for your wet/dry cappuccinos or extra foamy/no-foam lattes. i made signs, took classes, and participated in dozens of coffee and tea tastings. i really enjoyed my job, but it's much harder than people think it is. and i didn't demand or expect a tip from you. so why is it expected from me?
in taiwan, nobody gives tips and nobody receives tips. you don't make that extra cash, but you don't shell it out either. if they want you to tip, they include it in the bill and on the menu. in a far more passive society, in this way, they are far more direct than american culture and its unwritten rules of tipping.

things which do not make my life awesome

standing in public buses. i just can't get my balance. it's too jerky. i'd rather walk to work than have to stand on a bus. really, really.

grocery stores. they just don't carry things you need, much less things you can cook with. this is very much an eating-out culture, and many a time i've found it difficult, if not impossible, to find food for a reasonable price that i can make an actual meal out of.

public restrooms. 2 months later, i still don't like to squat. and i don't like the whole throw your toilet paper away, don't flush it thing.



thanks for listening.